[New] Darth Vader Pro

Darth Vader Pro
Click to enlarge. Original image from good-wallpapers.com.

No-one expected a such bold re-design of Darth Vader’s mask, yet here it is, sporting an “unprecedented amount of power in an unthinkable amount of space.”

The new design centres around “a single piece of extruded aluminium designed to maximize airflow as well as thermal capacity.” When you’re already wearing a big-arse cape, having a hot head is the last thing you need when planning universal domination or slicing a dudes arm off.

It’s even claimed that Darth Vader will now be able to breath in complete silence — a much welcome change after years of insomnia. But more importantly, he will be allowed into the quiet areas of public libraries.

“Sometimes you just want to feel like one of the plebs and read a good book in a library.” Mr Vader said this morning, during a Skype call with flop ya mac out. “This new mask design promises to give me a normal life again. If it turns out to be bogus, I’ll blow the shit out of them then feed that shit back to their decapitated heads. ”

How is this improvement in performance achieved?

“It works by conducting heat away from the nostrils and the mouth and distributing that heat uniformly across the upper lip and chin. That way, if, say one nostril isn’t working as hard as the other orifices, the extra thermal capacity can be shared efficiently among them. No mask has been built this way before.”

The manufacturers of Darth Vader’s mask said in a press release this morning in relation to the re-design, “…it makes so much sense, it’s now hard to imagine building one any other way.”

I for one, think they’ve been smoking some hyperbole, as it just looks like the old design, with some electronics glued on. Regardless, the performance of the mask will have the opportunity to prove itself when it’s released later this year.

Posted by Dan on June 11th, 2013 |

An iWatch For Every Member

Come Christmas of 2013, we may be delving into our Santa sacs and pulling out an entirely new (and completely revolutionary) toy from Apple Inc.

Rumours of a device (being dub-stepped the iWatch) are coming out thick and fast, just like father’s creamy sauce he used to make for our roast dinners, each Sunday night. Mmm!

Macrumors posted details of a newly-submitted Apple patent in their article, New Apple ‘iWatch’ Patent Application Reveals Slap Bracelet with Wraparound Touch-Sensitive Display. What a freakin’ long title; and that’s after being edited down by Perry White.

Do you remember those slap-bands from the 90′s? For some they were a gateway tool into S&M. For others, they were a gateway tool into S&M.

Within the bowels of this Macrumors article, the forumistas start picking apart the functionality of this potential product. And two Internet web pages into this vibrant discussion, post #44 (made by forum doyen, wrkactjob) simultaneously delivers some practical solutions to how this iWatch could be worn, as well as the sublime Mother Lode of the entire thread:

gentlemans-sausage

“Click to “”enlarge””.”

And wrkactjob, Steve bless.

Posted by Dan on March 31st, 2013 |

What’s The Best Pie?

Schiller and Pie

Big man on Apple campus, Philly Schiller, recently tweeted this link [PDF] from his personal Twitter account, to a mixed reaction of re-tweets and bitter replies.

However the biggest question on everyone’s lips – above and beyond mobile security – was put to Mr Schiller by Matt Hancock of New Zealand, a WordPress and culinary enthusiast:

“@pschiller, what’s the best pie?”

Schiller is staying tight-lipped on this one, and I don’t blame him; if everyone knew his favourite pie, he might run short on stock! And right now, he doesn’t need anymore stock issues. LOLOLOL.

Posted by Dan on March 11th, 2013 |

flop ya mac out 102: feel good

Dan and Jase go deep with the iPad minis and discuss the idea of profit through planned obsolescence. iTunes 11 gets a good going over with a fine-toothed comb. And James Bond – Skyfall – is critiqued and a Michael Jackson reference made.

Posted by Dan on December 13th, 2012 |

flop ya mac out 102: feel good

Dan and Jase go deep with the iPad minis and discuss the idea of profit through planned obsolescence. iTunes 11 gets a good going over with a fine-toothed comb. And James Bond – Skyfall – is critiqued and a Michael Jackson reference made.

Posted by Dan on December 11th, 2012 |

300 Billion iMessages Sent

Posted by Dan on October 31st, 2012 |

flop ya mac out 101: digital enema

iPhone 5: The good, the bad, the vibratory. Dan ingests the new 8-pin connector – spaghetti-nose style – but holds out on the other upgrades. Jason comes to terms with Apple exposing it’s marketing weakness. And Gruber exposes his wittle fingers.

Posted by Dan on October 16th, 2012 |

flop ya mac out 101: digital enema

iPhone 5: The good, the bad, the vibratory. Dan ingests the new 8-pin connector – spaghetti-nose style – but holds out on the other upgrades. Jason comes to terms with Apple exposing it’s marketing weakness. And Gruber exposes his wittle fingers.

Posted by Dan on October 16th, 2012 |

Scott Forskinstall — Made Flesh

We run a sober ship, here at flop ya mac out.

If anyone is seen with a whoopie cushion or a snag (sausage) in their pants, pretending to have a large (possibly erect and greasy) penis, they’re dealt with in a full-serious manner.

There’s no room for error when sailing these treacherous, digital waters, and we won’t suffer fools and their “poo jokes” lightly.

No.

We will hoist them up the main sail to the crow’s nest and put them on show for all to see that pass us by!

Click to enlarge. Yeaaahhhh!

Many thanks to the Photoshopalicious Kyle Pasalskyj for creating this master-batory-piece; something positive to inspire our children’s children children. Children of the Future.

Posted by Dan on September 13th, 2012 |

flop ya mac out 100: get some tissues

Come and celebrate one-hundred episodes of flopping ya mac out, with Dan and Jase. They discuss WWDC and the new Macs, iOS 6 and the M.S. Surface. Plus, Apple Maps are pretty, but will their functionality at public release rival Googles?

Posted by Dan on July 3rd, 2012 |